Before we enter into a relationship, it is crucial to know what it is that you’re looking for in a romantic partner and to ask important questions about what your person of interest is looking for as well. From years of working with clients who are actively looking to find relationships and struggling with dating, I frequently acknowledge that they aren’t asking the necessary questions they need to and that they often aren’t even sure what they are looking for in a relationship. It’s obvious to me that they aren’t asking the right questions or if they are, they aren’t listening to what the other person is telling them.
Maybe the person you’re interested in is polyamorous, or maybe they aren’t looking for anything serious and/or just came out of a relationship and instead of listening to what they are saying, they take it as an opportunity to convince the other person to be with them or that they can “change their mind” with how amazing they are. I see so many people who break their own hearts by not knowing what kind of relationship they are looking for, not being honest or authentic with themselves or others with their needs, wants and desires and not listening to what other people are telling them when the topic of “where is this relationship going?” comes up.
It may seem heavy to some and some people tend to shy away from these difficult conversations early on in the relationship but I believe that knowing what the other person is looking for and having them know what you are looking for is an important thing to know, especially on a first date. I understand why a lot of people feel uncomfortable asking these questions and gaining this information it can feel like you’re coming off as intense to the other person, but it’s so crucial to know you are both on the same page right from the beginning and whether or not what you’re both looking for are compatible or not.
Do you know what you are looking for in a partnership or relationship?
I highly recommend starting a “partner manifestation list” and truly figuring out an idea of your values, needs and what kind of relationship or connection you are currently looking for!
If this resonates with you, I’d love to work with you to help you learn who you are and what kind of relationship you are looking for!