We are ALL survivors of trauma. This may sound a bit strange or contradictory but there is no such thing as “perfect mental health”, as we are all imperfect beings, it’s part of the human design. Even if you haven’t been through things that you would consider to be “traumatic” based on the stigma and the social understanding of trauma and how it “needs to be severe” to be considered trauma but today I am here to prove to you how we are all survivors of trauma.
At some point in your life, you have been through something traumatic: Whether it’s the one (or many) time(s) your mom or dad said/did something unkind, not fitting in with the kids at school, a difficult friendship, professional or romantic relationship, and the list can go on and on.
When we go through anything that the mind understands as traumatic, a part of us fragments. Most of the time, we aren’t able to properly integrate the information, intense emotions, and experiences even after a lot of time goes by. We end up dragging around these fragments of ourselves who are still stuck in the trauma and due to this, we tend to attract and get triggered by situations that remind us of this trauma.
These fragments are the version of us that froze when the experience happened and that didn’t know how to cope with the intense emotions or avoided them together. You may think you have healed from this specific incident, but then in your life, you are constantly reminded of those experiences and are being triggered through instances that remind the brain of the original experience.
For example: If someone was in a relationship that their previous partner blindsided them by breaking up with them, this person months or years later in a new relationship may struggle to fully sink into the relationship with their new partner for fear that once again, they would be blindsided and broken up with.
Until you are able to unpack these complicated emotions, you won’t be able to fully heal from any situation and from the triggers that accompany it. But have no fear, help is here! A key part of the healing process is learning the core negative beliefs and emotions that are holding you back and reprocessing the information.
There are a few ways to heal the fragmented self, but for the purpose of this blog post, I will share the ways I can help you:
- EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing)
- Hypnosis
- EFT tapping
- Inner child healing